Period poverty activist Miyoshi Days invites menstruators to learn about their bodies with Hate the Dot

By Ashley Elliott

It’s been a long and obstacle-ridden journey for Miyoshi Days, menstrual advocate and founder of newly launched online community Hate the Dot.

With a mission to turn menstrual cycles into self-care rituals through education and advocacy, Hate the Dot—which has already been highlighted by Teen Vogue and NBC—has blossomed into a digital home for menstruators seeking experts, educational materials, and answers to questions about their bodies that they’ve been too shy to seek elsewhere.

 

In honor of the Hate the Dot launch, we sat with Days to talk about all things periods, mental health, vaginas, and what it truly means to prioritize mental health.

Miyoshi Days, photographed by Marta Skovro McAdams.

Talk to me about the origin of Hate the Dot. How did the vision for the organization come to you? In what ways do you feel that the work you’re doing is critical?

I started because I used to get really bad periods every month until college. One time, I had gotten my period and had no pads or tampons, so I called my dad. I was like, “Can you run to the drug store?” He went, but he came back with all the wrong stuff. So I was like, “Okay, why can’t I have everything I need and want for my period delivered to me every single month?” 

That was six years ago. Since then, Hate the Dot we’ve worked in period poverty advocacy—spreading the word about the Tampon Tax and about menstruators not having access to vital period products. I was in education for about two and a half years, and I worked at a transfer school in one of the poorest neighborhoods in New York City. I saw firsthand that menstruators had to choose between buying food or buying period products.

“I saw firsthand that menstruators had to choose between buying food or buying period products.”

Growing up, I got a lot of my advice from friends and older family members, but I kind of just had to figure it out. There was no [singular] source that I could go to for unfiltered advice without judgment. That’s kind of why I started the Hate the Dot community: to be that older sister and say, “Hey girl, this is what’s going on with your body.”

On the platform, we talk about your menstrual cycle and connect it to self-care, we talk about mental health, and we have guided meditation sessions. It encompasses everything. That’s why I find the work that I’m doing very critical.

What do you think have been your biggest obstacles throughout this journey?

We were originally planning to launch [as a menstrual product brand]. I had developed 100% organic pads and tampons because I’m all about sustainable and healthy products for menstruators. I had spent months developing and designing it, found a manufacturer, all of this stuff.

We were supposed to launch in October of 2019. A month before the launch, I got a call from the venue where I planned to have the launch party, and they were like, “We have all of these issues that we have to solve, so we have to cancel all of our upcoming events.” I was calling around to different places, but no one could give me a deal, so I was like, “I might have to cancel this launch party. That’s not a big issue.”

But that same day, I got a letter from the FDA. It was like, “We’re holding your products here because your manufacturer is in violation of some codes.” Then I get a call from Homeland Security, asking me a bunch of questions about my business, about myself, and about what I’m doing.

I say all of that to say that I didn’t get my products. I lost money. The manufacturer didn’t want to work with me—they didn’t want to pay money to [adhere to] the FDA. I lost all of the products that I was developing. I had to cancel the launch. I was depressed. That was in late 2019. Looking back and seeing what 2020 had in store for us, I know now that it was a blessing in disguise because I would not have been able to sustain the brand through 2020.

That’s a redirect if I’ve ever seen one.

A very blatant redirect. After that had happened, I took 2020 to work on myself because I am the only person who’s working on Hate the Dot. It’s all me right now. Then I took some time to figure out what was next for Hate the Dot.

I reached out to people who had been following me on Instagram to see what people needed from Hate the Dot. I scheduled a few dozen community calls, and the consistent answer was, “I need a safe space to understand my body. I need a space to talk about all of the things that we never spoke about in school.” That was a consistent theme, so I said, “Okay, this is what’s it about.”

It’s about removing the shame.

Removing the shame. Hate the Dot’s motto is “Turning your menstrual cycle into a self-care ritual.” Understanding your cycle—not just your period, but your entire cycle, which has four unique phases—is understanding each phase and how you can take care of yourself in each phase to live a more aligned life. That’s where Hate the Dot is headed. Community is everything. It always has been in my life, and now it’s going a step further with Hate the Dot. I’m so excited.

“Hate the Dot’s motto is ‘Turning your menstrual cycle into a self-care ritual.’”

I feel like that means that you’re definitely going to do some more advocacy around period poverty, speaking out against the Pink Tax, and raising awareness.

That’s going to be aligned with Hate the Dot, no matter what we do. When people in states that still have a Tampon Tax ask their lawmakers why that is, it all boils down to making more money. The people in positions to make these decisions don’t menstruate, so they don’t care. I find it absolutely ridiculous. People already can’t afford to buy period products, but you want to tax them on top of that? For a product that isn’t a luxury item, but a need?

I know that you were highlighted by Teen Vogue, but what do you think that Hate the Dot will do to advocate for and bring awareness to this issue?

I don’t know if I have a specific goal when it comes to this one. I think that I’m just going to continue to speak out—I did an interview with NBC just in December about when Scotland [made menstrual products free]—and have continued conversations. I work at a tech company, and I have these conversations during our workday. It might be a little awkward, but this is the work that I’m passionate about.

In the past, Hate the Dot worked with different corporate organizations to educate them about period poverty in the United States. A lot of people think, “Oh, that’s a ‘third-world’ country problem. That doesn’t really exist here.” But we lay out the facts and say, “This is happening here. This is what you can do to help.” People have shied away from this conversation for so long, so we’re just trying to have more conversations around this topic and lay out the facts for people.

Recently on her podcast, Michelle Obama talked about discussing menstruation with her kids, with young people, and even with post-menstruators and menopausal people. Normalizing these discussions is key.

It’s so important. That’s the reason I started the community. This week, I spoke to a menopausal woman who had no idea that there were four phases in the menstrual cycle. That, to me, was mind-boggling but also not surprising. I’ve spoken to people my age—in their late twenties or early thirties—who also don’t know that.

It’s cool that we can educate one another. If you understand your body, you can be a better advocate for yourself, and you can give other people advice from your own experience. I just love what Hate the Dot is cultivating and what’s going on around us.

“If you understand your body, you can be a better advocate for yourself.”

Going back to what you said earlier that Hate the Dot was just you. Is it still just you?

Even though it’s just me right now, it’s what I love to do. It’s what I’m passionate about.

One of my goals this year is to hire someone. I work a full-time job, and I do Hate the Dot when I’m not working. Even as we’re on this call, my phone rang and my chat is blowing up. I want to spend a lot of my time doing Hate the Dot, but I’m a corporate executive assistant—I support three executives at the moment—so I’m extremely busy.

I know you said that wellness, clean products, and sustainability are important to you. What can we expect to see in the monthly Hate the Dot subscription box that you’ll be rolling out?

I created the ROSA Method to help people understand their four phases and how to practice self-care during each phase.

The “R” is for rest during menstruation, the first phase of your cycle. The next phase is your follicular phase—after your period is over, you might notice a boost of energy, so the “O” is for outgoing. For self-care, you can try going back to projects that you’ve been procrastinating on or making social plans. During ovulation, the peak of your cycle, “S” is for sexy. That’s when you feel your most vibrant. Usually, your skin is glowing, and you feel like a superhero. For that, self-care can look like doing things that make you feel good. It can also look like setting healthy boundaries because during this phase you might want to give out a lot of yourself to other people. During your pre-menstruation phase, your energy level starts to come down. The “A” is for awareness and attention. 

In the four-item subscription box [launching in April], each item will be aligned to each phase—all of these products are Black-owned or woman-owned. For example, you might get a sleeping mask for rest. For your outgoing phase, there’s a really cool company that I’m working with for the first box called JD Bath Co. They give you an after-period bath soak, and so much more.

I know you’re still working on it, but how do you see that being priced? Access and affordability are major factors in fighting period poverty.

The online community is going to be priced at $9.99 a month. If you’re a member of the platform, you get a discount on a subscription box every month. I’m working with organizations to give discounts because even though it’s only $9.99 a month, I understand that some people still can’t afford that, so I want to make sure that it’s accessible to as many people as possible. The subscription box retails for $24.99 a month. 

That’s amazing. I’m assuming that all of these products are sustainable and chemical-free?

Yeah. I make it a mission to work with founders of color, women, and small businesses that are like Hate the Dot and have missions that align with ours.

What do you think separates Hate the Dot from traditional brands that we’ve been seeing on television for years?

I think there’s a shift taking place in society. People are getting more comfortable with “taboo” topics. That’s what Hate the Dot is all about. Since its inception, I’ve only been talking about periods. I’ve been having these conversations about periods for over six years.

Now, it’s expanding. We’re no longer only talking about periods. We’re talking about vaginas. We’re talking about sex. We’re talking about mental health. All of these things can be considered “taboo,” but we’re not afraid to talk about them. We’re reaching out to experts in these fields to get valid information and real answers so that people can be equipped with information to advocate for themselves.

“We’re no longer only talking about periods. We’re talking about vaginas. We’re talking about sex. We’re talking about mental health.”

And we’re a community. I’m like, “You have a period product company, too? Let’s have a conversation. You’re a nutritionist? Let’s have a conversation.” The more, the better. I don’t want to say, “You’re a competitor, I don’t want you to be involved.” No, come talk about your experience. That’s why we’re unique.

How big is your community right now?

I would say about 500 [people].

How big do you see it getting?

I have big dreams. It’s 500 now, but I want it to be in the tens of thousands or bigger. But I’m also one person. Once I expand, I would love my team number to expand as well.

What do you think has contributed to that growth? 500 is a huge number for one person.

It’s because people need this. The other day, I went live on Hate the Dot’s Instagram to talk about the ROSA Method and prioritizing self-care through each phase. I’ve gotten so many DMs and emails saying, “Miyoshi, please post it. Where can I find this information?” For a long time, menstruators were told to figure it out, but now people want to understand their bodies better. Once you understand your body and realize what’s normal and not normal for you, you can be better aligned.

I do have to say that I’ve yet to come across a resource that’s anywhere near this. A resource like this is really going to make a difference to young people who menstruate.

When you’re in school or health class, they throw the information at you, and then you never talk about it again. And searching online can be scary. It’s not a safe space. I want Hate the Dot to be a safe space where you can have comfortable conversations about your body and about your period.

Yeah, a space where you don’t feel shy and feel like you can ask questions.

Right. We have these questions—it’s not like we don’t have questions. We ask friends or look online. We’re curious and want answers, so I wanted to provide a safe space for that.

What do you think has been the most redeeming part of this journey so far?

Understanding that everything happens for a reason and that everything is going to happen in its own time. Like I said, I’ve been working on this for six years. If someone told me six years ago that it would take me six years to get to where I’m at today, I would have said, “No, thanks.” But everything that I’ve been through—every failure or disappointment—has brought me to where I am today and has equipped me with all of the information that I’ve learned, all of the contacts that I’ve made, and all of the relationships that I’ve built.

I’m so happy that I didn’t launch in 2019. I’m so happy that I pivoted to where we’re going now. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. When you’re going through it, it’s not fun, but looking back, I’m so happy that everything has happened for a reason. Everything has brought me to where I am today.

Even on a personal level, 2019 was a horrible year for me. I was going through so much and was like, “Well, damn. Now my business isn’t launching?” I was so depressed at the end of 2019. I took 2020 to heal. I prioritized self-care. When I talk about it to people, I’m speaking from a personal place. It’s not something that I just created and started pushing on people. It’s lived experience.

Do you think that this experience has changed your definitions of self-care and wellness?

Absolutely. Commercially, self-care is lighting a candle and getting in a bubble bath. That can be self-care, but self-care is also saying no, setting boundaries, being honest with yourself, and going to therapy. Self-care is exercising, taking care of your body, listening to your body. Self-care is resting—telling your manager, “Hey, I need an hour,” “I can’t commit to that this week,” or “I don’t have the bandwidth.” Those are all under the umbrella of self-care.

I love scented candles, and I’ve got the bath bombs, but I’ve got the boundaries. Self-care is expansive.

I hope that this platform becomes a space where people can come to discover that.

I drive that home, and I have those conversations. When you talk about self-care, you have to think of your entire self—not just the cute stuff. You have to consider the deep stuff. Face masks are fun, but it’s not just that.

What’s one thing that makes you feel like you’re on the right path?

The fact that so many people are saying that this resonates with them, that this is helping them, and that they can’t wait to have a safe space. It feels good.

Is there anything else that you want us to know?

People can join Hate the Dot [through our website], and they can follow us on Instagram.

Miyoshi Days, photographed by Marta Skovro McAdams.